I know that Brian wasn’t in his right mind when he chose to end his life because of where he chose to do it. While I’m grateful that he didn’t do it at home for us to find him he instead chose a hotel that’s very close to our home and someplace I see nearly daily when […]
Art was essentially my step dad and grandpa to my kids. Together for 17 years he and my mother never married but that didn’t diminish their relationship. They were certainly a team that worked well together. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in May of 2017 and passed away peacefully on Friday, […]
The three of us are getting ready to go on a short 8 night RV camping trip. This will be the fifth time I have rented an RV since Brian’s death. You can say that I have been bitten by the RV bug for sure. Brian and I never rented one together but […]
When Brian died it it took me completely by surprise. No inkling even in the back of my mind that he was ever capable of this. If you had asked me prior to his death if I thought he might go that way I would have said absolutely not, never, not an option […]
I think most widows wrestle with their rings soon after losing a spouse. Do you still wear them and if so for how long? Do you wear them on a different hand? Do you put them away forever? Here it’s five years out and I’m still wrestling with that. […]
I’ve always loved spring when the earth comes alive again but it’s all the more glorious now since Brian died. He died in the bleakness of January. Matched his frame of mind too I suppose. Everything so brown and dead and lifeless looking. I vividly remember mentioning non-chalantantly that “the news […]
It’s the eve of Haley’s 10th birthday and I find myself thinking a lot about him the past few days. She was only four when he died and has had five birthdays since he’s been gone but again this year I feel the lack of his presence to celebrate another year with his daughter. […]
I know Brian wouldn’t want his legacy to be the way that he died. Deep in my soul I know that he was as surprised as we were when he realized what he had done. Others may see it differently and maybe it’s a way to protect myself but I really feel that […]
The three of us just got back from a short three night trip to Branson to finish the end of spring break. We had a great time, I spent too much money as usual but I still had those feelings of something missing, someone rather, many times during the trip. On vacations like this […]
As you may know from my last blog I have lived in this house for almost 13 years now and much of it sits exactly as it has since Brian died 5 years ago but every once in a while I will come upon a hand written note by him tucked into a book or […]
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